Hello there, everybody!
Popping in to give my regular "I'm okay" and "everything is fine". It is not untrue, BUT it's not true in the strictest sense. It is tough these days generally, for everyone, and I can feel that somedays as clearly as I can feel my own pain. Sometimes, my own emotions are compounded exponentially and it is too much to figure out how to push through. I have put most of these situations behind me, and hopefully that's where they'll stay. It hit hard in 2025 and just kept giving, and truthfully, I have dealt with some manner of this phenomenon since 2016. I've had bullshit thrown at me regularly for ten years, almost the entire time I've had my shop. (spiritually speaking, I've had bullshit popping up since I was a child, each 'era' with its own unique challenges).
But, in addition to this, now I can definitely pinpoint why the shop has had such an up and down experience and where the heart of my issue lies. Or rather, what has exacerbated this entire process. I've mentioned it before, but not in this way. I have struggled all my life with some form of mental illness. I could call it ADD, and there are definitely parts of it that I can cleanly point to, but that's not large enough to explain the process of... trying to get myself back up only to fall back down constantly. The executive dysfunction, scattered thoughts, poor short term memory, and issues properly prioritizing have been the greatest hurdle. Throw in anxiety, depression, (potentially a form of autism), lots of trauma, and spiritual saboteurs into the mix. I've also been locked in magickal combat on behalf of a client for two years (and some change) now. Behind the scenes, it is a shitshow. I really wish it wasn't.
Now, I am trying to actually get the mental mundane part of this situation treated, and that has caused much of the delays this year. I have been trying to get properly medicated. The process has not been easy, and so far, it has been more bizarre torture than helpful. Amazingly, my abilities have yet to be repressed by anything I've tried out though, which is its own subject. Suffice it to say, I want to break through. I WILL breakthrough. What you guys have seen for a long time now is silence, but there is something in me, and something about the shop, that is waiting to explode with brilliance.
I decided to write this out to give voice to my thoughts, to inform you guys of my process, and to let you guys know that I am not giving up. This shop is me, and my abilities and knowledge are what I have to contribute to the world through the running of it. There is SO MUCH potential, for me and for all of you. If there's anything I've learned from my metaphysical experiences, it is how much is possible. I WILL find my way to where I want to be, and I appreciate all of your patience, love, and support.
Was this post too much? My apologies. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, especially in places where my voice can be heard. I ironically have an ability that causes me to be easily ignored/overlooked in real life, and given I am also a middle child... there's some things there to be worked out. So when I can speak, I speak.
All of this to say, I have IN FACT, done the raffle from February's Sale. The Winnter is C.A. - Order 1829. I will be contacting the winner, but I wanted it to be known that IT HAS BE DONE!
My best to all of you who have read thus far (likely in the single digits LOL). You are in a place of magick, and though it has seen humbling days, you are the bedrock for why it is going to soar. We change the world by simply existing in it. Thank you, for everything!
Sincerely,
Azure~
